I was undiagnosed while in the Navy, sailing around Asia. Ironically, although I was taken advantage of in both Navy and Asia-related contexts, the most dangerous people always proved to be my family members. I was originally slated to enlist … Continue reading If you’re autistic, have you gotten deceived by bad and dangerous people?
In Japan, both genders tend to comport themselves in a manner that would be considered somewhat feminine and timid by Western standards, as that is what is considered “cool”. On a train, a group of teenagers will often sound like … Continue reading What Are Teenagers Like In Japan
In the spring of 2019 I achieved the goal I abandoned over a decade prior: I achieved a Bachelor of Arts degree from Temple University – Japan Campus; a degree in two fields I actually enjoyed. These fields were the … Continue reading Why I Dropped Out Of Graduate School
My ex was a Filipina nurse living in Japan while I was stationed there in the U.S. Navy. She was 33 and I was 25 and she had a daughter. She was convinced I was cheating on her throughout our … Continue reading Silliest Breakup I Ever Went Through
There’s some common misconceptions I see thrown around about Japan, but I lived there for 11 years, so I’m a bit more cynical. Japanese people aren’t actually friendly, they’re polite. The only Japanese people I got along with were ones … Continue reading Uncomfortable Facts About Japan
I spent my 28th birthday in the hospital.
I was with a group of some new friends I had made at my university and we were all going out to eat Yakiniku – which is a popular Japanese meal that consists of choosing various meats and cooking over a small gas grill – which was pretty frustrating for me considering the fact that I had just started on a vegetarian diet and wouldn’t have been able to eat the majority of the food.
Prior to this day, I noticed that I was having a lot of trouble focusing in my classes and felt lightheaded when I was talking in large groups of people. I had also been drinking very heavily and opting to go on long solitary walks from the university back to my apartment which would last from 4 to 5 hours long.
During these walks I would have long crying spells, then during the days leading up to my birthday, I started screaming out loud and was having very delusional thoughts.
On the day of my birthday, the birthday plans began with a complaint when I expressed interest in going to Karaoke. Then it was decided without my input that we would go to Yakiniku. I didn’t want to go to a Yakiniku, nor did I want to hang out with a large group of people. I wanted to go drinking in Yokosuka with my old friends, but I was trying to break away from my old lifestyle and try new things.
While we were on the train, I read an e-mail from my mom and my heart started racing.
As we were going through the train station I went into my “dream world”, which is a sensation I had been experiencing since I was a child where I’ll start feeling like I’m dreaming. I now know this to be derealization/depersonalization. I always assumed it was because I felt tired. A unique sensation began to occur as an adult wherein I would get the “startled” sensation repeatedly and feel like I was choking. These were my first symptoms.
I tried to hide this sensation from the group, but I started feeling scared and my friend asked me if I was okay because he saw me rubbing my temples. He asked me if I had eaten that day and bought I might be experiencing hypoglycemia. I ate a small bag of cheese crackers and we exited out of the station.
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Although I am still an incredibly small Youtuber, I do feel that I’ve had a bit of an interesting journey so far. I uploaded my first two YouTube videos on my original channel back in late 2012 to show the … Continue reading Why did I start my YouTube channel? (Navy, Mental Illness and Music Pt. 1)